Personal Growth

3 Ways to Crash a Pity-Party

A “Pity Party” a/k/a feeling sorry for yourself, drowning in fear, whining about the ‘what-ifs’ of life. There is a very fine line between depression and a pity party. Long term depression requires assistance from a Mental Health Therapist. Crashing a pity party requires that you take personal action.

First of all, you’ve got to realize that no one is coming to this party, they’re not bringing gifts, and YOU have to crash it. Whatever the reason, you find yourself immersed in this “woe is me” moment; recognize that it was YOU who sent out the “invitations”. Whether it’s because of family, finances, your lover OR lack of a lover, this situation is on your radar because you summoned it.  I know this is hard to hear. Trust me, I was the LAST person who wanted to admit that whatever funky state of mind I found myself in…. that trail of sadness started with me!!

I can hear you saying, WAIT LINDA… I didn’t ask my lover to leave or my job to let me go!!! Or did you? Whether we acknowledge it or not, our thoughts, our words, and our FOCUS are extremely powerful. TRUE STORY: Several years ago I was working a sales j-o-b that paid decent money, gave bonuses and good benefits, but I no longer believed in the mission of the company. I found myself each day just going through the motions and constantly thinking that I needed to do something else. While riding home one day, I heard Michael Baisden say on his popular radio show, “Is losing your job the BEST thing that has ever happened to You?” I thought to myself, “Yes !! Yes it would be!!” A week later I was ‘let go’. Of course my first reaction was to panic. I thought, “How will I pay my mortgage?” “What about this, what about that??” 

I’ve come to understand that there is always an underlying reason, behind the obvious reason of whatever is going on.  Situations, circumstances, and even “bullsh–” do not just ‘fall out of the sky’. You called it forth. So before you wallow too deeply in your pity party, sit quietly for a few moments and contemplate the REAL reason that you are in this funk. Your first thought may be that you lost your job because of budget cuts within the company. Or you lost your lover because you didn’t make time for one another.  On the surface that may be true, however, if you dig a little deeper you’ll admit that you were bored with that job. Or that lover lacked integrity. Or the power of your thoughts, words, and emotions helped to manifest your current reality.

A crucial step to raise this lower vibration is to consciously decide how long you will ‘attend’ this pity-party. Will it be for an hour, a day, a month or a few minutes? This decision puts you back in the driver seat of this experience. You really do have control over how you are feeling. Remember, you have to be the one to “crash” it, no one else is coming and they are NOT bringing gifts. Once you’ve concluded how long you’ll allow yourself to be miserable, do the following:

1) Look around RIGHT NOW and find something to be GRATEFUL for; ANYTHING.

It could be the way the sunlight is peeking through your curtains, the laughter of the children playing outside, the crazy YouTube video that made you chuckle yesterday, the melody of your favorite song, or the fact that you woke up this morning. In this uncomfortable pity party moment DELIBERATELY shift your attention and energy to ANYTHING that begins to lift your vibration.

2) Send some genuine EMPATHY to someone else.

No matter how bad your situation may be at the moment, remember that there is someone else who wishes they could trade places with you. They may be suffering in a state of grief, homelessness, or despair that is 10 times more devastating than anything that you are dealing with. Give a smile, write a note, or mentally send someone in need a thought of genuine hope and love.

3) SURRENDER to the Highest Good of All concerned.

If you’re trying to control the pity party situation and you feel like you’re at your wits end, stop and take a deep breath. Do your best to calm your spirit. Instead of wallowing in the depths of sorrow, trust that there is a Higher Power who loves you and is on your side. Release your frustration and surrender to the Highest Good of All concerned. Sometimes what we think is the best solution is only half of the story.

What are your BEST ways to crash a pity party?

 

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